Pulling Away
by Almeida24T
Summary: Tony's been locked away for treason for 2 years. Now he's out and his marrige is suffering. Please read and review, thanks.
1. Chapter 1

Pulling Away

Chapter 1

Author's Note: Please review. I get really sad when people don't review and it stunts the creative juices that flow. Please, just so I know that people are reading, thanks.

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights whatsoever associated with 24. Wish I did, but I don't. You know the drill don't own characters, plots, beautiful actors, etc etc. So without further ado, Pulling Away.

Michelle led the way as she and her husband walked over to the counter to retrieve his belongings. She was many paces ahead of him, his head filled with scorn. During his time in prison, he had come to hate himself. If he had re-assigned someone to go into the hotel in the first place, she never would have been kidnaped. Now he looked at his beautiful wife, walking in front of him, he didn't know her anymore, he didn't know himself anymore. He was scared, because he'd have to go back into the real world after 2 years in jail. Things were different now, and some of the things he had endured in jail were enough to push a strong man into insanity. However, Tony had always been more than strong. But it was enough to change him, for the worse. They arrived at the counter and Michelle rang the bell for a security guard to get Tony his things. She turned to look at him and a huge smile crept across her face, but Tony's remained distant and distracted; lost in his own thoughts. He didn't even see his wife smiling at him. She understood that his mind was busy, so she left well enough alone. A security guard came over to the counter.

"Can I help you ma'am?" He uttered. She turned back towards the counter, Tony still hanging behind, scared to get close to her. This was the closest they'd been in 2 years. Before, he couldn't imagine living without her, but he had, and he hated it. To him, he wasn't living at all, he was breathing, and he was alive, but he wasn't living. He could barley make out what she was saying to the man, he didn't really care either. He was petrified to go back to his life, because he'd been away from it for so long; but he would rather die than go back into his cell. He was stuck with no good solution. Michelle had al his belongings in her hands, and she put them into a plastic bag. She grabbed his hand to go out to the car, but he didn't grab hers back.

"Hey, Tony," She said quietly with deep concern in her voice. "Are you alright?" Tony just nodded, but still didn't grip her hand, it just hung loosely in her grasp, and she accepted it. They got into the car, and Tony slowly reached for his seat belt. While clicking it in, he remembered the way it smelled. He took it in, but quickly dismissed it. Michelle started the car, but didn't go anywhere. She just looked at her husband sitting there blankly. It took a good minute before he realized that they weren't moving. He looked over at her, and she was almost in tears.

"What's wrong, why aren't we leaving?" He asked. Michelle, relieved that he still had a voice box began speaking.

"Tony, please, can you just acknowledge that you're out, and that we're together." These words stung him, and put a rotten taste in his mouth. He swallowed, but it became more difficult with every second. He hesitated for a while, looking for the right words.

"I'm, I'm sorry Michelle, everything is just a blur to me right now. I am happy that we're together, I am so happy, but that is underneath a lot of other feelings that I am having right now." He replied. He knew in that instant that what he had just said hurt his wife more than him going to jail. He could see that she felt like a knife was just thrusted into her back, and he hated himself for saying it. Michelle let go of her feelings for that moment and reached into the bag the guard had given her. She found the gold band that he used to wear on his left hand, and clung to it for dear life, not sure if giving it to him now would cause him to be more distant. She knew he had to wear it, so she extended her hand and opened her fist.

Tony saw what was sitting delicately in the palm of her hand, and it burned his heart. But he knew that he had to take it, he wanted to take it. Slowly, he reached for it, and once he felt it on his hand, so many memories came rushing back to him. He swallowed them, and buried them, because remembering them would cause him too much pain. He put his wedding ring back onto his finger. It was cold, and it didn't feel like it belonged there. After all, he hadn't worn or seen it in 2 years. He told himself that if he took it off, it would rip apart his marriage, so he swallowed the pain and left it there, idling on his finger. Michelle smiled, and began to drive to their home. They drove in silence, until they reached the driveway. Tony remembered the house as it had been 2 years ago, and so much had changed.

"You put up a fence." Tony stated. Michelle nodded.

"Yes, I told you that one day when I went to go see you." She replied. Tony desperately tried to remember her telling him that, but nothing came to him. He nodded, so she would think he had remembered. Taking a deep breath, Tony lethargically got out of the car, and walked to the front steps with Michelle right next to him. Michelle found the house key on her chain and unlocked the front door. The door swung open, and Tony hesitated before stepping in. Once he did, he looked around the room, remembering events that had occurred in different areas of the house. He noticed that there were more pictures of them around the house in frames, so she would never forget the love that they have, or had. They all painfully jolted Tony's stomach into a whirlwind of panic and discomfort. He began to sweat.

"Michelle." He asked. She could hear cracking in his voice.

"Yes Tony, is something wrong?" She asked coming closer to him. He could smell her perfume, and it made him tense up. He put on brave face.

"Do we have anything to drink?" He asked. All he wanted to do was scoop her up in his arms and carry her to their room and make love to her with the passion of a thousand souls desiring to be one. He imagined it, but it made his heart ache, and he just stood there, watching her walk to the refrigerator. She opened it up, and scanned it's contents.

"We have water, juice, milk, Coke, or Ginger Ale." She said looking over at him and waiting for his response.

"No, I mean, do we have anything to drink." Tony said putting heavy emphasis on the word drink. Michelle looked slightly shocked. Tony wasn't a big drinker before he went to prison, and she was sure they didn't let him have any while he was there; but she conceded and gave in to his demands.

"Well, we have some beer." She said. She could see her words registering in his brain, and didn't like the expression that had come over his face. He took on a look of comfort, and companionship at her words, and this terrified her beyond words.

"Yeah," was all he said. Michelle, slightly disappointed in her husband grabbed a beer from the fridge. She took off the cap, and handed it to him very reluctantly. He nodded as if to say thank you, and he went to go sit on the couch. Michelle walked back into the kitchen, staring at her husband, and wondering what happened to him to make him so different.


	2. Chapter 2

Pulling Away

Chapter 2

Author's Note: Please review. I get really sad when people don't review and it stunts the creative juices that flow. Please, just so I know that people are reading, thanks.

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights whatsoever associated with 24. Wish I did, but I don't. You know the drill don't own characters, plots, beautiful actors, etc etc.

Michelle was cleaning up after dinner the same night. They ordered Chinese food, one of their favorites, but Tony only picked at it. After an almost silent meal, he retreated back to him spot on the couch, with his sixth beer in hand. Michelle was terrified, she had never seen him drink this much in a 3 hour period. This was very out of character for her husband. She tried to talk to him at dinner, but he barely said five words. He responded to all her questions with a yeah, no, or he'd just shrug. He didn't look at her either. Not once did they make eye contact. This isn't right, Michelle thought. He should be scooping me up in his arms and we should be making love. But sadly, her thoughts were not read by the man she loved sitting on the couch, numb to everything surrounding him. Michelle shrugged at her own thoughts. Maybe once he gets used to being here again, he'll go back to normal. Yes, that's it, just give him time. She walked upstairs into the bedroom, and started changing the sheets. Tony was still sitting on the couch.

He looked very dazed. His face looked like he was feeling sorry for himself. He took another swig of his Budweiser. He turned to look and see where Michelle went, and he didn't see her anywhere. Looking around the room more closely, he noticed that she was nowhere in sight. He got up from the couch, and went into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator, even though he wasn't hungry. Bored with it's contents, he started looking through the cupboards, just because. He opened up the cabinet doors that had the mugs in it, and began to shut it again, but Tony saw something that made him open it back up. He reached up and pulled his Chicago Cubs mug off the shelf and just stared at it.

Memories came flooding back to him. This was HIS mug, no one elses. Aside from his wife, it was the thing he held dear to him. He continued staring at it, and began to well up with tears, why he didn't know, but they soon flooded his cheeks like a tsunami. After several minutes of nostalgia, he put the cup back into the cabinet, and dried his cheeks. His wife was still nowhere to be found, so he ventured into their bedroom for the first time in 2 years. When he walked in, Michelle was making the bed, and putting pillow cases onto their pillows. When he walked into the room, she smiled, hoping this would be their moment.

"Sweetheart." Michelle started. "Want to come to bed?" She asked motioning to the bed. Tony looked at the bed, then back to her. He examined her with his eyes, looked her up and down, from head to toe. He remembered how much he loved this woman standing in front of him, be he had forgotten how to show it.

"Yeah." He replied after few moments of silence. Michelle's face lit up. That was the most positive thing that had happened all day, aside from him wearing his wedding ring. Michelle began undressing herself, and when she was in her bra, Tony interjected.

"I think I want to shower first." He said. Michelle took this as a very nice opportunity to become close and one with her husband again.

"Want some company?" She asked sensually. She had a smirk on her face, and it was clear what she was implying.

"Actually, no." Tony replied. The smirk quickly disappeared from her face, and a sad expression came over her. She looked down with disappointment, but knew not to push it. But she had been longing for his touch and his love ever since he was sentenced.

"Yeah." Michelle said in a whisper. Tony slipped his shirt off his back, the same way he used to. Michelle, witnessing what he was doing, longed for him even more. The way he took off his shirt reminded her of the first time they had made love. It was perfect, and she desperately wanted that moment back. Tony walked out of the room, and into the bathroom attached to their bedroom. He started the water, made sure it was the right temperature and eased in. His first thought as the water drenched his body was that he wanted Michelle in there with him, but he wouldn't know how to act, what to do. It had been such a long time since he had been close to her, let alone a woman in general. Prison had robbed him of his ability to show his love. It made him close up, and not trust people. Over time, he knew those things would come back to him, but he didn't know how much time she would wait.

Michelle, sitting on the edge of the bed weeping wondered where her husband was. He had left her. It was so clear, he was devoid of the man he used to be, the man she fell in love with. He was shutting her out, and pulling away from her, and she didn't know anything she could do to stop it. She lay on the bed and buried her face into a pillow a cried out in pain. She began blaming herself for him being this way. Why did I have to go into that hotel, why, you stupid woman. I should have just died in there, she told her self crying harder than before. She heard the water stop running in the shower, but she couldn't control her sobs. They just kept coming out faster and harder.

Tony emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He saw his wife on the bed, and he could hear her sobs. He walked over to the bed, and knelt down beside her and stroked her hair. She saw this and it made her cry harder because it reminded her of when he proposed to her.

"Michelle, what's wrong?" He asked. She glared at him, that was the most thoughtful thing he's said all day. She wiped her eyes, and sniffled a few times.

"You, Tony, you. What happened to you. You're acting like you hate me." She said tears still falling from her lids. Tony was silent for a minute, gathering his thoughts.

"Michelle, I could never hate you, I love you. Just, things have changed me. I'm sorry." He said leaning over to her and giving her a peck on the lips. Michelle's eyes grew wider. She paused for a moment, and looked down at his lips. Then she enveloped him in passionate kiss. She had waited so long for this, but just as she was staring to feel whole again, Tony pulled away.

"What, what is it?" She asked, once again hurt.

"I just can't Michelle. It's too soon. Don't you think that I want nothing more than to just take you in my arms and be with you again." Tony said.

"Then why don't you Tony, I'm right here." Michelle said starting to cry again. Tony stood up, and started pacing around the room.

"Because I -" he cut himself off.

"Because why?" She said.

"Because I'm scared to love you Michelle. OK, is that what you wanted to hear. You don't know what's happened to me when I was there. You don't know alright?" Tony said his voice starting to crack.

"Then why don't you tell me." Michelle pleaded.

"Because you wouldn't understand." Tony yelled, finally exploding with anger and hurt.

"Tony, I'm your wife, you need to tell me, otherwise how can I help you?" Michelle yelled back at him while crying.

"Just leave it alone. Nothing can change what happened, so there's no point." He yelled again.

"Ok, look I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset, but this is not a marriage. If you can't talk to me, your wife who loves you more than her own life, how can you expect things to get better?" Michelle said.

"Yeah, don't talk to me about loving someone more than their own life ok, cause you're the reason I went to prison in the first place." Tony yelled. Michelle was dumbstruck. She couldn't believe that he just said that. She welled up again, and ran out of the room. Once she was out of sight Tony was immediately kicking himself for saying that. He knew she was right, but he didn't know how to fix it. He left the room, still in his towel, and found her sobbing face down on the guest room bed. He sat beside her and put his hand on her back. "Michelle, I'm sorry, I just exploded. You know I didn't mean that." He said quietly. Michelle sniffled.

"Don't you think I have told myself that everyday you were gone?" Michelle said. Tony realized that she was blaming herself for what happened.

"Don't do that, because you know it's not true. Look I am really sorry for today, and I'll try to get better." He said. Michelle sat up on the bed, and hugged him, and he hugged her back, for the first time in 2 years.


	3. Chapter 3

Pulling Away

Chapter 3

Author's Note: Please review. I get really sad when people don't review and it stunts the creative juices that flow. Please, just so I know that people are reading, thanks.

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights whatsoever associated with 24. Wish I did, but I don't. You know the drill don't own characters, plots, beautiful actors, etc etc.

That night, while Michelle lay asleep in their bed, Tony was wide awake staring at the ceiling. He couldn't get comfortable. He was so used to the cheap spring mattresses that they supplied in the prison. His mind was too busy to sleep. He kept wondering what he could do to make the situation with Michelle better. He wanted to make love to her so badly, but he was afraid. He hurt her once by going to prison, and he didn't want to do it again. The only way he knew not to hurt her again was to not get close to her again. The only thing he didn't know was that by pulling away he was causing her more pain.

Michelle stirred, and Tony looked over to see if she was still sleeping. She looked so angelic when she slept. He remembered their wedding night, after they had made love, she was sleeping, with an arm over his torso, and he was watching her chest rise and fall with every delicate breath she took. He looked away and retreated to his memories of their better times. He remembered when she went to San Francisco to see her brother Danny who had just moved there. When she came back, she got out of the cab, and Tony was waiting for her outside their house. She ran towards him and leaped into his arms, and planted a wonderfully familiar and necessary kiss on his lips.

"Sweetheart, I missed you do much." She told him. He put her down, and she pulled down her shirt that had been rumpled from the way she landed.

"I missed you more than you'll ever know. I can't survive without you." He told her. They kissed again. Tony remembered this sweet memory as Michelle kept sleeping soundly. _I can't survive without you._ He told her that then, but he never truly knew what it meant until he was in jail. It was true, he couldn't survive without her.

He needed to smell her shampoo, and kiss the corner of her neck that morphed into her shoulder. He needed to hear her say his name every single day. Every time he was devoid of that a small part of him died. The way she looked at him alone was enough to make his heart sink into his stomach, like he was on a roller coaster going down a cliff. He stared at her curls, trying to remember the way it felt to have them wrapped around his fingers.

He was just sitting there; having all these thoughts, and memories. If he really wanted to, he could wake her up and envelope her in him. He didn't. He couldn't. The truth was, he did want to do it, but something inside him made him believe that it wasn't right. He was sitting there, next to his wife, and saying 'what if' to himself over and over.

Hours passed, and Tony finally fell asleep. He dreamed, about what he didn't quite know, but he knew he was dreaming. He rolled over and his arm brushed Michelle's, and this caused her to wake. She looked over at her sleeping husband, who hours before had promised her things would get better. She wondered if they would. If things kept going the way they were, she knew she wouldn't be able to stand it. She couldn't watch the love of her life slowly kill himself, and deny her love in the process.

She sat up, and turned on the light that was resting on her night stand. She opened the drawer to get some chap stick. When she looked in the drawer, she saw a picture of her and Tony at the beach 4 years ago. Michelle was wearing her flowered bikini and Tony wore bright orange trunks. She remembered the fight they got into when he bought those ridiculous looking things. More importantly, she noticed the look on their faces. They were smiling, and happy. Michelle's curls were blowing in the wind, and Tony's arm was wrapped around her waist. He was wearing a huge grin, and she was there looking seductively happy. She desperately wanted to smile that way again. Tony used to make her do that effortlessly.

She took a deep sigh and looked up from the picture. Her eyes found the clock, and she was surprised to see that it was already 8:30 in the morning. She knew she wouldn't go back to sleep. After finding the picture, she didn't want to go back to sleep, because she feared her dreams. She looked over at Tony one more time. He was still sleeping. She got out of bed, and looked at him again, then at the picture, and back to her husband once again. After some thought, she lay the picture on her pillow, so he would see it when he woke up.

She walked away from the bed, and put on her robe and slippers. She walked into the kitchen, and started the coffee pot. She knew the smell would wake him up. She put in hazelnut, his favorite, in the hopes that he would take it as a sign of endearment. Twenty five minutes passed, and Tony had not come out of the bedroom. Michelle wondered if he was even awake, and went to go check on him. She walked up the stairs as quiet as possible, and made her way into their room. When she saw him, he was sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the picture.

"I didn't know you had this." He said when he realized he had been caught.

"I love that picture." She began. She paused before speaking again. "Reminds me of when we were happy." She said softly, hurting herself by saying it. She knew that by saying it, she was making it a reality, and she'd have to deal with it. Tony nodded in defeat. She was right, they were very happy at that point. Newlyweds, on their honeymoon, it didn't get much better than that.

"Did you make coffee?" Tony asked casting the picture aside realizing that silence had lingered a bit too long. Michelle nodded.

"Yeah, hazelnut. It's downstairs if you want some." She said.

"Yeah." Tony replied almost whispering. He got up, and put on sweat pants, and a shirt. Michelle stood in the same spot, just looking at him. When he was ready to go down, he just walked right past her. She stood there for a second letting it hit her. She sniffled in, but quickly brushed it off, and followed him downstairs.

"Do you want to do something today?" She asked when she approached him. He was pouring coffee into his Chicago Cubs mug. He thought about what she said for a minute before answering.

"What did you have in mind?" He asked walking to the other side of the kitchen and opening a cabinet. Michelle watched as he took the rum off the self, opened it and added some to his coffee. She was very disappointed in him.

"I thought maybe we could go grocery shopping." She started. "There's hardly anything here, and I thought you might like to start cooking again, I mean, you always used to love that." She finished. Tony took a big swig of his alcohol infested coffee, and thought about it.

"Yeah, alright, we could do that." He replied frequently drinking his coffee. "We could pick up some more beer too, we're out." He said in a very nonchalant manor. Michelle was speechless. What have you become, she thought to herself.


	4. Chapter 4

Pulling Away

Chapter 4

Author's Note: Song by Jack Johnson. Sexual elements in this chapter, probably not suitable for kids under 13. Please review. I get really sad when people don't review and it stunts the creative juices that flow. Please, just so I know that people are reading, thanks.

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights whatsoever associated with 24. Wish I did, but I don't. You know the drill don't own characters, plots, beautiful actors, etc etc.

Tony stood at the door waiting for Michelle to come out of the bathroom so they could go shopping. He reached over to the rack and grabbed a set of keys hanging on a hook. Michelle always took so long in the bathroom he thought. Tony kept busy by looking at the room in more detail. He couldn't remember the last time he looked at the picture of her parents and his parents together. As he was looking at the photograph, and before he had time to develop attachment to the memories it brought, Michelle came out of the bathroom.

"Finally." Tony said in a mock sarcastic voice. He extended his hand and dropped the keys in hers.

"I take it I'm driving." Michelle said. Tony nodded. He was looking her up and down. He thought that she was the most beautiful woman in the world. He had no idea how he had become so lucky. He didn't deserve a wonderful woman like that, but there is no one else he could love nearly as much. They were in the car and Michelle turned on the radio. They started driving in silence while listening to 'Better Together' by Jack Johnson. Tony was bopping along, looking quite foolish when he actually started paying attention to the lyrics.

Love is the answer  
At least for most of the questions in my heart  
Why are we here and where do we go  
And how come it's so hard  
It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving  
I'll tell you one thing It's always better when we're together.

Tony looked over at Michelle who was concentrating on driving. He assumed she hadn't heard the lyrics. He dropped his head and was looking at his lap. 'It's not always easy.' So true, he thought. He looked up and over to her one more time. He sighed deeply, and this cause Michelle to look over at him. She read his face, and instantly knew he had something to say.

"Tony, is everything alright." Michelle asked. Tony's eyes darted from her to the dash, and then back to her after several seconds.

"Michelle, I'm sorry. I really am. I don't mean to be like this you know, and I know that it hurts you." Tony said. Michelle was surprised. She didn't think that he was going to say that. She swallowed hard, and cleared her throat.

"Thanks. I know things will get better, you just need to find a job and try to go back to the way things were before." She said removing a hand from the wheel and resting it on his knee. "Try not to think about the last two years."

"Not think about it? How could I not think about it. It is a very significant part of my life, don't you think?" He said amazed that she even suggested the idea.

"I didn't mean it like that. You know what I meant. Don't let it get to you." She said trying to clarify, so he wouldn't think she wasn't supporting him.

"Yeah, I guess." Tony said slightly stricter and turning away from her. He turned his head and looked out the window. He took a deep breath, trying not to think about what was just said between the two. A few minutes passed, and he saw that they were coming to a liqueur store. "Hey, pull over. We need beer." Tony said. Michelle noticed a sudden excitement in his voice. She didn't like it but she did what she was told. They were in the lot and Tony got out of the car.

"Hurry up, ok?" Michelle said turning off the engine and waiting for him to come back. She rested her head against the head support and stared at the roof. Why here? She thought. Seven minutes later, Tony emerged from the package store doors carrying 2 thirty packs under his arms. Michelle reached over and opened the door for him. He piled the beer into the backseat, and then got in the car.

"Alright. I'm ready." Tony said all smiles. Michelle just glared at him with a horrified look on her face. Tony looked over and saw her expression. "What?" He asked completely clueless.

"Got enough beer hun?" She said sarcastically. Tony picked up on her undertones; who wouldn't the way she was saying it combined with her expression. Tony hesitated before answering.

"Well, I thought this way we wouldn't have to come back tomorrow." He said casually, as if he did this kind of thing often.

"Tomorrow? How much are you planning on drinking?" She said exasperated.

"Well, I -" Tony stopped talking, knowing he had been defeated. There was no way he was talking himself out of this one. The two drove in silence for the remainder of the trip to the store. The couple walked up and down the aisles mostly in silence, but both their minds talking like crazy. The only words that were exchanged was Michelle asking if he wanted to get this, and Tony would either reply with yes or no. Even other people shopping could sense the tension between them. This was not a good situation. When they got to the checkout, Tony loaded the groceries onto the belt, and Michelle went to go watch the screen to make sure all the priced rang up correctly.

"Hi. How are you today?" The checker asked.

"Fine thanks, and you?" Michelle replied, even though she wasn't fine.

"Good thanks." The checker replied. Michelle handed her the coupons she had used. When everything was rung up, Michelle was slightly shocked at how much they had spent. Michelle wasn't used to buying food for two anymore. "148.34 please." The checker said. Michelle took out her debit card and slid it through the machine. Tony was standing there feeling pitiful. Great, I can't even buy food for my wife, he thought cynically. After everything was paid, Tony pushed the carriage, while Michelle looked for the keys. When she found them, she popped the trunk and the two loaded the groceries in.

On the drive home, they were both afraid to be the first to speak. Tony was still feeling pathetic, and was wallowing in self embarrassment. Michelle was still shocked about how much beer he had bought. She knew that they were going to have to have a serious discussion soon. When they got home, Michelle popped the trunk, and Tony helped carry in the food. He put the bags onto the floor, and then headed back out to bring the beer into the house. Once inside, he put the beer in the fridge. He immediately took one out of the box and sat on the couch. Michelle heard the TV click on and a beer can open.

She was standing in the kitchen when she heard this, and just looked down at the floor. All the groceries were still in bags on the floor. She silently began crying, shocked about everything he had lost. This was not the same person. Michelle put away the groceries, crying the entire time. Once finished, she went into her room and stayed there for the remainder of the day.

By midnight, Michelle was still in her room. She had gotten out of he shower an hour ago and had just finished painting her nails. After they were dry, she went into her drawer and got out her silk nightie. She liked to wear this, because it made her feel sexy. She needed something to do that if Tony wasn't going to be able to. She crawled into bed ready to read her book, and go to sleep. Once she was cozy, she opened to where she had left off. She was reading for 5 minutes, already deeply entertained, when she heard Tony walk up the stairs loudly.

He got into the room and Michelle looked up. He had a big smile on his face, and walked over to the bed. He took off all of his cloths, even his boxers, and climbed into bed. Michelle thought this was strange because the only time he ever slept naked was when they had made love. She finally pieced two and two together, and excitement overtook anything else she was feeling. Finally, she would feel the love of her husband again. He reached over and took her book away. He closed it and threw it on the floor. He reached for her nightie. When he touched it, his lust was thrown over the top. He wanted her right then and there.

He removed her nightie, and pulled her over to him. He positioned her the way he wanted, and without even kissing her, he entered her. He was breathing heavily, and when he went down to kiss her, she became almost sick. His breath reeked of beer. She knew then that he had been drinking all day, and he was so drunk that he needed a release. Tony pulled away from the kiss after a few seconds, and Michelle just kept going along with it. It felt so good to be connected to him again, but at the same time it made her sick to think that he had to get incredibly drunk to do it.

When he was finished, he panted heavily, and rolled off of his wife. He didn't say anything to her, but just rolled over with his back facing her, and fell asleep. Not one word was exchanged between the two. Michelle just stared at him deeply hurt and offended. This was not the way she wanted her life to be. If he could only make love to her when he was hammered, then he wasn't making love at all, and she wasn't going to put up with it. It hurt her so much. If he was going to do that then he mine as well just go and sleep with random women. But the thought of that hurt her also. The only solution was to get him some help, and get it to him fast. Michelle finally fell asleep next to a passed out Tony, after crying for an hour silently.


	5. Chapter 5

Pulling Away

Chapter 5

Author's Note: Use of the F word. Please review. I get really sad when people don't review and it stunts the creative juices that flow. Please, just so I know that people are reading, thanks.

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights whatsoever associated with 24. Wish I did, but I don't. You know the drill don't own characters, plots, beautiful actors, etc etc.

When morning came, Michelle was the first to wake. Her eyes hurt, and she instantly remembered what had occurred last night. Depressed, she got out of bed, and put on her jogging clothes. She had a lot of thinking to do, and exercising cleared her mind. She went into the bathroom and tied her hair back. She was speedily walking down the stairs. She made her way to the front door, and briskly walked out, not noticing an empty 30 pack sitting next to the door.

Tony woke up about 20 minutes later. He sat up slowly, and shook his head to gain clarity. His head was pounding. He'd never had a headache like this before. He made his way to the bathroom to get some medication. Michelle had written him a note. It said, _Jogging, be back later, Michelle._ Tony acknowledged it and proceeded with his headache business. Finally he found some Advil, and popped the cap open and downed 4 pills. He put on his bathrobe, and walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Everything was as it had been the night before, Michelle hadn't moved a single thing. She didn't even start the coffee. Something Tony could not start and get through the day without was his coffee, or that's what it used to be. Now it appeared to be alcohol. He went over to the pot and started some. He looked around the room, not knowing exactly what to do until his coffee was ready, so he walked over to the TV and turned it on. The tv shone a bright picture of the weather.

_Today is going to be lousy, rainy, and cool. Tomorrow should by sunny with a high of 88. _The weatherman said from inside the box in their living room. Tony grinned.

"Look's like I'm staying in today." He said to nobody. Tony looked around the room once more and decided that it was time for him to shower. He walked back up the stairs, and into the bathroom and his robe fell to the floor. He turned on the water, and when it was the perfect temperature, he got in.

The warm water was running laps all over his achy body. The warmth felt good on his muscles, and Tony just stood there for a minute or two before proceeding to the shampoo. He reached for the Pert Plus. He opened the bottle and a glob fell into his palm. Tony massaged it into his scalp and lathered until he was sure his hair was good and clean. After rinsing, he reached for the bar of Irish Spring. He soaped up his entire body, starting at his neck, and then slowly working his way to his defined shoulders, and then all over his chest, followed by his arms, and his groin. After he was all clean, he stood under the waterfall coming from the shower head for another few minutes. He finally realized that it was time to get out, because his hands were getting all pruney.

After getting out, and drying off all areas of his body, he wrapped the towel around his waist, and looked into the mirror. He noticed that his usual 5 o'clock shadow had turned into 72 hour man stubble. He reached for his shaving creme and lathered his face. After a few good swipes of his razor, he was back to normal. He walked out of the bathroom, and headed to his dresser for some clean cloths. Once he was dressed, his brain was practically begging for coffee. He walked down the stairs, and Michelle was sitting at the table enjoying a cup of joe that Tony had started, and reading the newspaper. She didn't look up when he entered the room, but her body tensed up. All her muscles contracted, and waited for him to say something. Tony got a cup, and poured coffee in it. He walked over and added his cream and sugar, and sat down next to his wife, but she still didn't say anything to him, or even look at him.

"Good Morning." He said apprehensively watching her.

"Oh, morning." She said with incredible nonchalance like he had never heard before. The two sat in silence for a few more seconds before Tony felt really awkward.

"So, have a nice jog?" He asked trying to make conversation.

"Yep." Michelle answered never taking her eyes off the paper. Tony nodded, his eyes wandering around the room.

"Where'd you go?" He asked once again trying to break the silence that inhabited the room.

"Oh, just around." She said getting up, and walking straight upstairs. After a minute, Tony heard the shower faucet turn on. He sighed heavily, and scanned the room quickly. He noticed the empty beer cans in the case by the door. His expression changed from confusion to guilt, and he got up and brought the box and put it with the recyclables, hoping that she hadn't seen it.

Upstairs, clenching her teeth was all she could do to keep herself from crying. She had never acted like that towards him ever, not once, and she hated doing it. What she hated more though, was last night's occurrences. It was hurtful, and she had to say something to him about it. But what was she going to say? Hey, Tony, you can't just fuck me like that, you have to mean it. No, she couldn't say anything even remotely close to that. If she was going to address this, then she was going to have to be sensitive about it. After all, Tony was still recovering, and getting used to being home again. But he shouldn't have to get used to her again, he should have never lost it.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Tony had clicked on the TV, and parked it right on the sofa. He was still drinking his coffee, when the phone rang. He realized that the shower was still running, so he got up and answered the phone.

"Yeah." He answered. He had always tried to say 'hello' but it never came out.

"Mr. Almeida?" The other voice questioned.

"Yeah, who's this?" Tony asked. The voice was very serious, very 'would you like to enroll for our latest credit card'.

"This is Phil Wellsman from the Tax office. It seems your wife sent in the taxes a few weeks ago, but we are missing your ineligibility number. Do you think you could tell me what it is?" Phil said, his voice becoming more casual now. Tony looked up and the shower was still running.

"Yeah. Hang on, let me get the cordless." Tony said putting the phone down and walking to the office. He picked the phone up off the cradle, and clicked the on button.

"Alright." He said walking back into the kitchen. When he was by the other phone, he hung it up, and both parties heard a slight click. "I've got to get that information out of our lock box." Tony said. While he was walking over to a cabinet on the floor of the kitchen, he decided to ask the man a very important question. "Uhh, Mr. Wellsman?" He began.

"Phil, please."

"Ok, Phil, how long am I going to qualify for ineligibility?" Tony asked.

"Well, since you're out of prison, you'll need to hold a job for 6 months, then you're going to owe all the money from when you weren't working." Phil said calmly, as if he tells this to every customer of his. Tony nodded, though Phil couldn't see. He got the lock box opened with the key that they kept with the silverware. The lock box was primarily used to store tax information, important medical documents, social security information, and of course, passports, and some savings. Tony fished through the papers until he came to the one he was looking for.

"Alright, I think the number is 447-935-8824-77" Tony read to the man.

"Thank you very much, and tell your wife that these will be processed within the week." Phil said.

"Yeah, I will." Tony said and hung up the phone. He began putting the tax papers back, when he noticed a medical document sticking slightly out. The only reason he paid any attention to it was because he saw the words 'Cordiella Virus' in one of the sentences. This sparked his attention, so he pulled out the document. It was a letter to Michelle from NHS. It read:

_Dear Mrs. Almeida, _

_It is confirmed that after a very conclusive testing process, we were able to determine the reason as to why you did not contract the Cordiella Virus. It has come to our attention that you're antibodies were much higher than an average woman's, and this was the reason for your body fighting off the infection. Your antibodies were higher than usual because you were carrying a fertilized embryo. I am sorry to report that the embryo was killed by the infection, and will abort your body within the next month. We've concluded that you were carrying it for 4 weeks, and it's development, had it not been in contact with the virus would have been very good. We are terribly sorry to bear this news to you in this way. If you would like counseling, please call our office at 555-8365 ext. 511._

_ Sincerely,  
__ Sarah J. Kaiser MD_

Tony stared at the paper for what seemed like forever. He was trying to make sense of it all. Michelle had never mentioned this before. Never, not one time in her letters or when she came to see him. She had kept it from him for so long.

"She was pregnant. She was pregnant and she never told me." Tony said out loud stunned by how real the words were. "Why would she keep something this big from me." He paused again and thought so hard his head hurt. "What does this mean?" He asked himself.


	6. Chapter 6

Pulling Away

Chapter 6

Author's Note: Use of the F word again. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Please review and let me know what you think, and so I know if people are reading. Thank you.

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights whatsoever associated with 24. Wish I did, but I don't. You know the drill don't own characters, plots, beautiful actors, etc etc.

Tony sat on the kitchen floor, his mouth gaping open. He couldn't believe this. He never thought Michelle would ever do anything like that to him. After several minutes on the floor, Tony snapped himself out of his daze, and put the lock box away, but left the letter out. He walked over to the refrigerator and opened a beer. He walked over to the couch still amazed and getting angrier by the second. He heard the water shut off upstairs, and he could feel his face flush. He began rapidly drinking his beer, and finishing it in under a minute. He hastily got up from the couch and walked over to the fridge, his steps heavy and his body tense. He forcefully pulled the door of the fridge open and grabbed 2 beers. Once both were opened, one's contents were immediately in his stomach. He heard Michelle walking down the stairs. He took a deep breath in and another big swig from the can.

When she was downstairs, the first thing her eyes were greeted with was Tony gulping down a beer. This depressed her in a myriad number of ways. She made eye contact with her husband who shot guns at her with his stare. Michelle was offended and she put on her hard ass attitude, the one she normally pursued at work.

"Excuse me, I don't think you have a right to look at me like that. If anything I should be the one glaring at you." She said her voice steady with no signs of faltering. Tony, angered by her comment slightly crushed the empty beer can in his hand, threw it on the counter, and jerked the fridge door open for his fourth in 5 minutes. Tony's finger's snapped the can open, and he took one more gulp before speaking.

"And why might I ask should you be glaring at me?" He said with a tone similar to the one he used when he was defending his cause of breaking Jane Saunders out of CTU to Jack. Jack was never intimidated by Tony, but on occasion Michelle was, and now was one of those times, but she bit her lip and worked up the nerve to tell him exactly why.

"Because, do you even love me anymore? You've treated me horribly since you've been home, and I don't deserve it in the least. Last night when you were drunk and you just came upstairs and fucked me, you never said anything to me, you never even looked at me. You don't love me anymore." Michelle yelled tears starting to form. Tony glared at her.

"I can't believe you have the audacity to say I don't love you. I should be the one saying it to you." Tony said even angrier than before, if it was even possible. Michelle's mouth gaped open with shock. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Why on Earth would you think that I don't love you. I brought you home, and made everything nice for you, I've tried to get close to you, but apparently I am so revolting to you now, that you have to get piss drunk to come near me. Well that's not good enough for me Tony. I've waited for you for 2 years, and you're finally home and it's like you're not even here." She defended herself, not knowing what was coming up.

"Yeah, well I think that's minuscule compared to you never telling me that you were pregnant, and you miscarried because of the virus. What, you thought I didn't need to know? Or did you just think that I'd never find out?" Tony said giving her a hard, cold stare. Michelle froze. Every muscle in her body jammed, and her brain was spinning in circles. She finally found the strength to answer, but her words were hesitant.

"How, - how'd you find out about that?" She asked quietly looking down at the ground feeling ashamed.

"The tax collector called and he needed a number out of the box, and when I was putting the paper for him back, I found the letter that NHS sent you." He said while grabbing the letter off the counter and laying it in front of her. His tone softened because he saw that Michelle was getting rattled. There were no words from Michelle's mouth, and Tony was still waiting for her explanation. "Why Michelle, why did you never tell me?" He said, the words registering in his heart and tears beginning to form in his lids. Michelle, by now, had tears flowing down her face. Slowly, she lifted her head and looked her husband right in the eye.

"I, - you have to understand, when I found that out you had just been sentenced to 35 years without parole. I thought I had lost you forever. When you were pardoned, it had been such a long time since I had gotten the letter, and I didn't even think about it." She said crying. Tony nodded remembering his sentencing, and shivers went through his body.

"But that doesn't justify never telling me while I was in jail." He said hurt by how true his words were. Michelle paused again before answering.

"I'm sorry, but you were in a state of depression. I didn't want to make it worse." Michelle began. "Please Tony, I was just trying to help you. You didn't need anything else to add to the state you were in." She finished. Tony's heart sunk deeper and deeper into his stomach with every words she uttered. Tears were freely flowing from his eyes by now also. He gazed at her glossy and blood shot eyes with his, and she could see that he felt betrayed.

"But Michelle, that was our child. Mine and yours. We created it together, it was part of both of us." Tony said very softly. "I just don't see how you could have kept something like that from me if you really loved me the way you say you do. When I was in prison, I thought about you every single day. You were what got me through it, but this," he paused. "It makes me wonder if it was all a lie." Tony finished. He started walking past her and up the stairs. When he was on the third stair, Michelle turned around.

"Tony." She said. He turned around and looked at her with the saddest eyes she had ever seen. His heart was breaking right in front of her, and she knew there was nothing she could say to make it any better. She could only hope, that in time, he would forgive her, but she knew if their positions were reversed, she wouldn't be able to forgive him.

"Michelle, I just have one last question for you." She looked up at his words. He took a deep breath before speaking again. "Tell me honestly, would you really have waited 35 years for me?" He finished. Michelle looked away. She knew that when Tony threw the word honesty, into his sentence, he wanted the truth. Michelle knew that if she lied to him, it'd hurt him more, so she looked up at him and gave him an honest answer.

"I don't know."

Tony turned and continued walking up the stairs, his head hanging down. He slowly walked into their bedroom, and broke down. He collapsed on the side of the bed and his head was pushed into their comforter. He began sobbing uncontrollably. Michelle could hear his cries of pain from downstairs. She desperately wanted to run upstairs and hold him, but she was to upset with herself. She knew she was causing his pain, and in turn, this caused her pain. She began crying harder every time she heard him crying. She walked over to the couch, and lay on her stomach crying into the cushion.


	7. Chapter 7

Pulling Away

Chapter 7

Author's Note: Reviews are greatly appreciated. Please review and let me know what you think, and so I know if people are reading. Thank you.

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights associated with 24. Don't own characters, plots, beautiful actors etc. etc. but if I did that would be just swell.

Hour's later, Michelle had fallen asleep on the couch. Tony came downstairs with his jacket on, and ready to go out. He looked at his wife asleep on the couch, and his heart hurt, but he found the strength to walk past her, and out the door. Once outside, he slid into his car that hadn't been driven in about 2 years. Michelle started it occasionally, so it wouldn't stop working all together, but it hadn't really been driven.

Tony started it up, and paused before putting the car into reverse and backing out the driveway. His mind was swerving all over the place, just bouncing from one thought to another. He couldn't focus. He was heading to the bar, when he stopped at a yellow light. He decided not to speed through it, and play it safe. He wasn't in any frame of mind to be doing anything risky, and he wanted to be sure, so he stopped at the yellow. Soon it was red, but he didn't even notice.

Eventually, the light turned green, and he began to pull out onto the road he needed to be on, when a car ran right through the other light, hitting Tony going about 75 miles per hour. Tony's body was tossed from side to side of the car, because he forgot to buckle up. His head smashed against the passenger side window, and it broke. Tony's arm was thrust upon the shards of glass still sticking up from the window, and they were instantly embedded into his arm. He cried out in pain before blacking out completely when his head smashed against the dash. The car had overturned three times before finally stopping upside down.

Twenty minutes later, the place was swarming with EMS, Police, and Fire response. The other man was safely out of his car and had been taken to the hospital. Tony's situation proved a little different. He was jammed between the passenger seat, and the dash. His leg was stuck under the seat, and he was still unconscience. The Fire department was desperately trying to get Tony out, but they needed to bring in the Jaws of Life to get him out. After an hour ordeal, Tony was out of the car and rushed to the hospital.

On the way, Tony was losing a lot of blood. His head had a huge gash in it, and the EMS were trying to stop it the best they could. One man was wrapping his arm in gauze, and the other was applying pressure to Tony's head wound. They arrived at the ER 15 minutes later, and Tony was in very critical condition. They immediately brought him back into surgery, and began cutting his cloths off his body. One nurse put his neck in a brace, trying not to disturb his head injury. Another nurse removed his wallet, and looked at his licence.

"His name is Tony Almeida." The nurse told the doctor from across the room. The doctor nodded, and began lifting Tony's eyelids and flashing a light in them.

"Mr. Almeida can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me." The doctor said grabbing onto his hand. Tony lightly squeezed the doctor's hand. He could hear the doctor and respond, but he wasn't really conscience.

"Mr. Almeida, listen to me, you need to have surgery done now, or you will die. You're bleeding internally. Squeeze my hand if you understand me." The doctor said again. Tony squeezed. They began surgery, and soon Tony lost whatever conscienceness he was able to savor.

Back at the house, Michelle was woken up by the phone ringing. She sleepily got up and began walking towards it. Her vision was slightly blurry, but every second it became more and more clear. When she reached the phone, she answered very softly.

"Hello." She sad barley in a whisper.

"Mrs. Almeida?" A female voice came from the other end of the line.

"Yes, who's this?" Michelle asked skeptically.

"Mrs. Almeida, this is Flo Baker from the Mercy state hospital." Michelle's stomach fell into her feet. She took a hard painful breath in awaiting the woman's next words. "You're husband was in a car accident, and he's in surgery right now. Could you please come down to the hospital and fill out some papers." Flo asked. Michelle gasped. Her worst nightmare was coming true. She knew she had to be strong for him now though, so she regained her composure, and hung up the phone, no 'ok' or 'goodbye', nothing. She grabbed her purse, and her keys, and she ran to her car, not bothering to lock the door behind her. She had almost lost him when he was shot in the neck, she refused to lose him over this.

She spead all the way to Mercy, running freshly turned red lights, if only she knew that's how Tony was injured. She pulled into a parking spot, and ran from her car to the hospital. When she reached the desk, she was all out of breath. Panting heavily, she asked the receptionist where her husband was.

"Excuse me. My husband Tony Almeida was brought here, he was in a car accident." She said trying to catch her breath.

"Tony Almeida, let me check." The woman said.

"Could you please hurry." Michelle pressed her. The woman ignored her and proceeded looking at the computer.

"Mr. Almeida is still in surgery. He's on the 4th floor, and is expected to be out in 20 minutes, but it might be longer than that." The receptionist said. Michelle bolted without even uttering a thank you. She reached the elevators and pushed every up button so she could see what one was going to open first. Once one was open, she ran in and pushed the button to the fourth floor. She reached the floor in under a minute, but it felt like hours. She regretted the day and she wished that she had just told him she was pregnant, and none of this would be happening. This was all her fault, she thought. She reached the end of the hall and another reception desk. She asked the nurse the same thing she asked the other lady.

"You're husband should be out of surgery in a few minutes. You can have a seat and wait if you'd like." The nurse told Michelle. Michelle nodded, and took a seat in one of the chairs. She took a few deeps breaths, and retreated into her thoughts. She remembered the day at CTU when she had finally asked him out. George Mason had really given her the courage to do it, and she silently thanked him for it every day. Then she remembered their first kiss, in a corner of CTU, which Carrie had interrupted. She remembered the feeling that went though her body the moment their lips met. How did she get so lucky? And then she came back to reality, and realized that she was probably pushing him away and it wasn't just him. Tears began to slide gently down her face, and she vowed to herself to make her marriage work.

By the time he was out of surgery, she had stopped crying, and a nurse had come up to her and told her that he was now resting in the ICU. Michelle was escorted to his room, and when she entered it, her heart shattered into a million pieces. He was hooked up to so many machines. She could see where they operated, on his arm, on his leg, and she could see a bandage with blood stains through the stomach of his gown. He was barely conscience, but Michelle pushed chair next to his bed anyway. She sat down, and rested her hand on his.

"Tony, can you hear me?" Michelle asked. Tony nodded his head and opened his eye more, so he could see his wife.

"Michelle." He said very softly. Michelle leaned closer to him so she could hear him better.

"I'm here honey. How are you feeling?" She asked. Even though he was still half sedated, he gave her one of his famous stares.

"Michelle, I was thinking before the accident, and now, just the sight of you makes me sick. I can't believe I once loved you, and you would do that to me." Tony began. Michelle's jaw dropped open.

"Once loved?" She asked exasperated.

"Michelle, I want a divorce." Tony said. Michelle was in too much shock to even cry. The words were bitter and they stung her into paralysis. She couldn't move, or breath. She looked into his eyes, and they were cold, and there was no love in them. She just got up from the chair, and walked out of the room. She was halfway down the hallway when all of a sudden, her eyes snapped open fiercely. She was panting heavily, and there was sweat glistening all over her body. She was still on her couch. She got up and ran to the window, and Tony's car was still in the same spot.


	8. Chapter 8

Pulling Away

Chapter 8

Author's Note: Review review review, I am getting lots and I love it. I am going through a bit of writers block because of finals, everything should be fine soon though. Thank you to everyone who reads and reviews, I really appreciate that you like my story.

Disclaimer: Definitely do not own 24 or any of it's affiliates, although that would be swell, do not own characters, plots, beautiful actors, etc. etc.

Relieved, Michelle ran up the stairs and into their bedroom. Tony was curled up in the fetal position on his side of the bed, on top of the covers. Michelle was too panicked to even notice how cute he looked sleeping there. She walked over to the bed, and crawled up next to him. She didn't want to wake him up, she just wanted to hold him, and know that he was alive and alright. She positioned her body the same way his was, and fit perfectly behind him. Michelle gently rested her arm over his chest, and soon fell fast asleep.

Morning came, and Tony was the first to wake up. His eyes were sore, and his head hurt. Once his vision wasn't blurry anymore, he sat up, and Michelle's hand fell from his body. He turned to her, and she was rousing from her slumber as well. Her eyes weren't open yet, but he watched her take a deep breath in. He recognized it immediately, and knew she was waking up shortly. Seeing her had made him remember exactly why he was waking up with sore eyes and a headache, and suddenly all the emotions from the night before came flooding back, and instead of standing there thinking how beautiful she was, he was thinking how badly she hurt him. He rubbed the back of his neck, the way he did every morning, and headed towards the bathroom. When he was in there, he closed the door.

A minute later, Michelle's eyes were finally open. She was dazed, but once she saw an empty space on the bed next to her, her eyes snapped wider, and she panicked. Where was he? Had she dreamt that he was there? She was so worried that her breath caught in her throat. Then, Tony emerged from the bathroom. Michelle was so relieved that she began to cry. Before she could stop it, her face was drenched. Tony saw that she was crying, and though he was angry with her and she had hurt him, he still cared about her. After all, she was his wife. He walked back over to the bed and sat down next to her and rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Michelle, what's wrong?" He asked tenderly. Michelle was surprised of his gentle tone.

"Tony, I - " She began, but paused and looked up at the ceiling, trying to regain her composure. When she could talk again, she brought her head back down, and looked him dead in the eye. "I had a horrible dream about you. You were in a car accident, and I went to go visit you in the hospital, and you were so mad at me about the baby, that you asked me for a divorce." Michelle finished the words burning her heart, but thankful that it wasn't true. Tony, brought her in close for a hug.

"Michelle, I would never ask you for a divorce. I know we had a fight, and things have been rough since I've been back, but they will get better. I know they will." Tony whispered into her ear. Michelle smiled at his words of hope, and then sniffled in. She pulled away from the hug and looked him in the eye. She leaned in and kissed him, trying to make it passionate, but she could feel Tony resisting. They were having such a positive moment, she didn't want to ruin it by nagging him about his being distant, and she let it be for now.

After they had their morning coffee, they had agreed to sit down and talk out all their problems. They both took a seat on the couch, and Tony set his beer on the coffee table, but not before taking a rather large sip.

"Alright, where do we start?" He asked. Michelle knew immediately where to start.

"That." She replied with a straight face.

"What?" Tony asked very confused. Nothing had even been said yet, how could there be a 'that'.

"The drinking." Michelle began, and Tony dropped his head down. "Tony, why are you drinking so much? I thought you never even liked to drink?" Michelle said, not in a nagging tone, but Tony could pick up on the subtleties. He sighed loudly, and looked back up at her with a guilty expression.

"I don't know. Maybe because it's comforting, or maybe because it's something new, I really don't know Michelle." Tony said.

"Tony, it's not you. It's changing you for the worse." Michelle said.

"Prison changed me for the worse, alcohol has nothing to do with it." He blurted out in his defense. He hung his head aware of what he just said. Michelle sighed, wondering if she should bring up the next topic. After a minute of thoughtful silence, she decided to bring it up.

"Tony, "She began in a whisper. "You can't even make love to me." She finished, a tear sliding down her cheek. Tony still hadn't looked up. He felt too guilty. He knew it was true, but he didn't know why. He had been away from her for so long, why couldn't he be with her again?

"Michelle, I'm sorry. Don't you think I want nothing more than to be with you again? I've been gone for so long. A part of me thinks we'll never get back what we had." He said honestly. Michelle nodded in defeat. She was now crying steadily, but not making any sound. She envisioned Tony scooping her up, and holding her until she fell asleep, but instead, he just reached for his beer, and took another large sip.

Tony wanted to hold her, but he was scared to. It didn't feel like she was his wife anymore. Loving her would always be universal, but it was buried deep under so many other feelings and emotions. If she only knew what he had gone through for her. If she could possibly understand the pain and torture he had suffered while he was in prison, she wouldn't be saying these things to him. To her, he seemed selfish for not caring about what she was going through, and to him, she seemed selfish for demanding him to be the way he used to. What they both had no idea of was each other. They were just two lost souls traveling in the same direction, without hope of ever getting back to their old lives.

"Tony, can we finish this another time please." Michelle said walking over to the stairs, and after one last glance at her husband still sitting on the couch, his beer in hand, she continued up the stairs. The whole while she was walking up the stairs she couldn't knock the worst thoughts she had ever had out of her head. _Is this the end of my marriage? Is there nothing I can do to change this?_

The thoughts burned her mind, her heart felt tortured. She had never felt such a whirlwind of emotion, save for the virus case. And that seemed to be at the tail end of what was going on in her life right now. Of course she blamed herself for some of the downfalls, most in fact, but in her heart, she finally realized that the man she married had disappeared. He was gone forever, and she was never going to get him back.

She walked into her bedroom, and sat on the bed for a minute. She let all her feelings surge through her body, and before she knew what had hit her, she was running to the bathroom. Vomit escaped her body, and after she had nothing left, she flushed and couldn't help but feel a slight part of her old happy life go down the toilet as well.


End file.
